Giftim

R was here. He has had a stroke. He has severe chronic depression which he's had from his stroke for the last decade or so. He is weak on his left side, but still can walk fairly well. He can't use the left hand for much. I have another patient with nearly the exact same stroke, but he isn't depressed over it. My wife made up a word: "giftim". It refers to one who takes on the role of a victim as though it were a gift. She points to the fact that there are people who actually want to be victims. It justifies their lack of effort. It justifies their depression. It explains their circumstances. So then, they have nothing to do but suffer their victimhood. They go about telling their story, and everyone has to give them sympathy. The world is held hostage to their suffering. The world has to give them care and compassion. After all, if one doesn't have compassion for the person with a stroke, who is that person? The problem is when we see two patients with nearly the same stroke. One is great. One is independant and happy. One is dependent and depressed. It isn't the stroke, really. It's the giftim. It's a good word. It helps with insight into why there are some people who almost seem that they don't want to improve, don't want to be better, don't want to see the positive part of things. Whatever it is that we're faced with, we have to avoid being giftims.