I just returned from New York. My Grandmother died so I went there for the funeral and everything. You have to be there for your family. You don't do anything. You're just there. She was very old and she died in Hospice in her sleep without suffering. I like death. I've gotten friendly with death. My Aunt died a couple of years ago. I was worried that I would be horribly sad about my Grandma dying. I tell the patients always that I believe death is good. It's interesting to be tested, though. You can say anything you want. The trick, though, is to live it. I think it would take an entire book to try to explain, if it's possible, why dying is good. We don't think of the good in dying in our culture.
In the end, though, it's the only real test we have. You can cheat on everything, but not on death. We will all die. Then, there's nothing left but the way we lived our lives. You can't take it back. You can't re-do it. Whatever mistakes you made you made. Whatever ways you cheated you cheated. The hurt you caused others was caused. People forget about it. They go about their business as usual and forget that the final exam is coming at the end. Some people pass and some people fail.
I don't want the people that I love to go. I love them. All I know is that it's death that forces me to be there now. It forces me to be real and to be good. When I have to face my death I have to look at myself with open eyes. Because of my business, I face it every day. So when it comes, it comes. I do the best I can, and I don't forget death. It's with me every day. Every time I write a prescription - no matter how silly the prescription is - I might cause death. So I have no choice in the matter. Of course, my patients die and their families die.
At funerals, people are very emotional. You can see people clearly at these times. You can see if they are friends with death or not. I think if you live well and try hard and have little to account for, then you can handle it better when the loved ones you have die. That's because you know that you did the best that you could do.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Those who live, judge and verbalize must beware the day they outlive those they focus on.
It is interesting that there are consequences for thoughts. Judgement is a thought rather than an action. People these days seem to think that we are allowed to think anything, feel anything - as long as our actions are acceptable. The art of working on what we think seems to be dying off.
Post a Comment