Sick Monday

It was a sick Monday. M who actually is doing fairly well told me that his wife had died. I didn't know it. She had been a patient of mine for about five years or so. She had severe spinal stenosis and back pain. She died from a stroke. He's very depressed about this. It's made his tremors worse. That's a tough patient. Dying isn't easy for families. It would be nice if there were a way to make people feel better, but there isn't.
Then AB came in with a new diagnosis of brain tumor. It's not a metastasis, it's a primary brain tumor: a "glioma". That's tough because he's going to die pretty soon. Probably in a couple of months. He's going to have progressive weakness and thinking trouble. The weakness is on the left side. It started about one month ago.
PF was also here. She has diabetes with such severe neuropathy (she's had it thirty years) that she can't walk anymore. She can't even transfer in and out of the wheelchair. I was hoping she had developed some treatable neuropathy issue, which happens. So she came in for nerve testing, but that's not what happened. So she just can't get herself in and out of the chair now.
And CM was a patient with a new diagnosis of Alzheimer's.

Some days there are just too many sick patients. It's an excess sickness load. It can make a doctor feel tired. The curious thing is that if I do a great job and someone is totally cured, I never see them again. Of course, it isn't me as much as the illness that people get. There are days when rare things happen. Rare things have to happen sometimes. They aren't often, but they can't be never either. Otherwise, rare things would never happen and they wouldn't be rare things. So there have to be rare days when there are "too many sick people". Of course, everyone I see is basically see is sick. Every once in a while I have a patient who comes in and says "I feel great. I don't know why I'm here I almost cancelled this appointment." But this isn't something that is frequent. I guess most of the patients who feel this way cancel their appointments.

So what's so good about the "too sick days"? I suppose they test my strength and build my character. But they are a reminder to make sure you stay honest. It's always possible for the diseases to get the best of us. You need to respect that things aren't always easy. It's not good to get into a "groove". If you aren't shaking it up, then something will come around to help you with the shaking. Shaking is an important piece of living. Otherwise, it's boring. That's why some people go out and climb up mountains. I think being a doctor is better so I don't climb up mountains. Besides, I'm not a fan of great heights.