Tough Days

Some days you get reminded that the universe can decide to be too difficult. Yesterday there was BG who can't probably live much longer. He has been in the hospital for about one week four times over the past six weeks. He has a very weak heart and bad lungs. I see him for very severe neuropathy that is hereditary and can't be treated. He is so weak that he can barely walk or use his arms. He needs a wheelchair to get around his house. I saw a truck driver for Waste Management who has destroyed his spine from bouncing in trucks for twenty years. He is young but has so much pain that he's going to have to go on disability. I saw PM who has MS. She now has a very severe cancer in her sinuses which will surely kill her soon. Her primary care doctor hasn't even seen her about this, and without any thought she has been shuffled into the cancer doctors for a chemo/radiation/surgery plan. But no one stopped her and told her that no treatment is also a very good option for her. That's the job for the primary care doctor. I was lucky because I was able to get someone to see her for me. It was extremely kind of him. I saw KC who is very young, having yet another severe flare up of her Lupus. She really needs to go to a big center for a second opinion, because the Lupus is eating her up. GL came in for his severe Alzheimer's with hallucinations. He has developed very severe dizziness now, which is threatening his safety since his judgement is bad and he tries to walk when he can't. It's very dangerous. I saw KS who is only twenty-one and was in a car accident three years ago. She's had severe pain which she's treated by buying narcotics from friends at work and is now addicted.
I see disease every day. It's my job. Some days are tough. There is too much illness in one day. It can make a person tired at the end of the day. There are these doctors who are just emotionally blank with their patients. They don't have to go through this sort of thing. But they miss most of what I consider the good part of medicine. So it's the price we pay. Luckily, these days are somewhat rare. It's rare that I get more than two "disasters" in a day.