Everything is Good

I saw TB today. He is Cymbalta for depression. It seems to be helping somewhat. He has had intermittent bouts of depression for the last twenty something years following the death of his son. When his son died, he stopped going to church entirely. His wife (who is also a patient of mine) still goes. He tells me that he'll never get over it. I suppose it's hard to figure out that dying sons (and daughters) is good. There is such a tremendous loss and negative impact. I have another patient who has lost three children (actually I have two different patients who each have lost three children). It's bewildering. I don't really want to lose any of my children. I'm a very big believer in the notion that everything is good. That theory helps me to get through the day. When things happen that seem "bad" I decide that I don't understand these things properly. If I only understood more, then I would be able to see the good through the bad. It's a strange belief structure, I suppose. Still it seems to work most of the time so I use it. I learned it from my wife who is far better at it thanI am.
The good thing about disease and dying I understand. I realize that this is the only thing that gives any of us any value. It is the only reason that we actually HAVE TO be nice to each other and have compassion. We can break the law and go to jail. But that isn't always a bad thing, like in the civil rights era with civil disobedience. There is always the possibility of justification: "The law is not a good law". However, when we hurt other people we have to know that there is a consequence. These people have value. All people are frail and susceptible to disease and death. This makes them precious which is why at the end of the day we have to make sure that we were nice. Most of us don't get that until we have someone who is sick or dead. Then we tend to become nicer people. Most people become nicer over age. They understand their personal vulnerability more, and therefore the vulnerability of all of the other people. So disease and death do that for us.
I just don't understand why some of the people who die have to be someone's children. Now that's a very silly thing indeed.